hmm

So I'm on the work laptop at the sound mix in New York and I apparently was signed into blogspot? Whoops. Can't even think of when I would've signed into on here before. Weird.

Anyway, I haven't posted since like June. I have a new computer and I need to make my scanner work with it. And I need to draw some shit. In the meantime, though, some soapbox blogging.

I was in Job Lots a couple weeks ago on a lunch break, picking up some batteries. I'm in line behind this grandmotherly looking woman who's got three bags of fancy holiday nuts and that's it. Maybe she lives off fancy holiday nuts- I don't know -but it seems like that's a luxury item, right? Or a gift, maybe, but it's mid-November at this point, so I'm pretty sure she was just like, "I want some nuts to eat," and went to Job Lots and got herself some. Which is fine. The cashier asks her if she'd like to donate $1 to the community kitchen and the woman says no, and then asks to make sure that the cashier didn't over charge her for her fancy holiday nuts.

Now, people who say no to that shit are a huge problem to me. I understand that not everyone honestly has a dollar to spare all the time, and that's cool. If you're here with your last $20 trying to buy bread and milk and socks or something, keep your $1. If you're here treating yourself to snack foods, kick in a buck so someone can have a meal.

I'm getting a little high and mighty here. Stay with me.

I worked at Brooks during 9/11. We had a "donate a dollar" at the register type of fund to benefit victims and families, etc. Who could possibly say they don't have a dollar for that? Answer: most assholes. I got a lot "oh, I gave over at Ames," which was right next door. I don't care if you gave at Ames. First off, $2 isn't going to kill you, and don't try to alleviate your guilt by telling me that you were a good person at the store next door, so you don't have to be now.

Which brings me to New York. This place sucks. There's just...swanky shit and people everywhere and just total glut and every meal I'm served is enough for two and it just gets tossed. We get a tray of breakfast food at the sound mix every day and I'm sure tons of it goes in the trash. We get cookies at 3pm (those get eaten, though). We honestly haven't seen a lot of homeless people- probably because we're 'removed' from that. Last night taking the train, though, Erik and I shelled out a few bucks. Right at the bottom of the stairs into the subway, there was this sort of older fellow with markers who was drawing things that looked like Indian catchers and he had a sign out saying he was a vet. We each gave him a buck in his little dish and he bantered with us a bit. We saw another guy, who wasn't homeless because he had a keyboard and was selling CDs, but he was awesome. He was playing music I can't describe, and he was ancient and seemed Italian, maybe.
What set him above the rest, though, was that he had some dancing dolls in his act. Fiddle and sax players up on his keyboard, and a Britney-like dancing doll on the ground in front of his set-up. It was so charming and awesome and just put a smile on your face. Erik and I talked about him all the way to the hotel on the train, compared pictures, talked about how hungry we were and how we couldn't wait for our dinner at the Mexican place.

And this is where I get super preachy on your ass.

As we're coming out of the stairs, there is a guy. In shorts. So skinny. A foot or two away from him, he's got his trash bag, which has holes in it and has obviously seen better days, and he's just...he's not even begging, really. He seems beyond begging. He's just standing there, looking at all of us, and Erik and I walked by him. My wallet's all the way in my purse, you see, and hard to get to. But poor Erik- he gets through the door that you can't get back through when I say, "hey, wait," and decide to go back. Erik catches himself, too, and says, "yeah, I almost did...I don't know why I didn't..." and gives me a buck to go give to the guy. I look in my wallet and all I have left is a five. I go over and give him the money, which feels weird because he doesn't have a hat out or anything...he's not quite asking for it. But this guy is homeless. Like...not an act. Not a "career choice" (God, I hate that mentality- that every beggar you see just choses to take your money and not work). Anyway, he says, "God bless you," and doesn't even see the five until I've gone through that exit and he waves excitedly at me.

So I'm not trying to brag and be all "I gave him my last $5" here. Because if I'd had a one and a five, I probably would've given him the one. I kind of think that makes me a shithead, maybe. I just...don't get how this happens. And I don't get why the phrase "spread the wealth around" makes some people so angry and defensive. I know if I lived in New York, I couldn't be giving my money away all day every day and stuff. And I know I can afford to do that a lot more than some other people. But I was just reading about how food stamps aren't going as far these days and how more people are signing up for them. And it just makes me sad. And I don't know what to do about it.

And this is why I have a drawing blog instead of a writing blog.

Happy TG, folks (and by folks I mean Tim and Matt, because you're the only ones reading this). :)